This channeled message was initially given to me to help me understand one of the most difficult lessons I think I ever had the privilege of learning. Now that I understand the lesson I can share it with you...
- Beginning of channeled message
“Work on yourself continuously. Go forward improving your chakras... your chakral increments…. your chakral fortitude.
* Your chakral fortitude.
Go forth increasing your chakral fortitude, your energetic fortitude, your energetic way and being of life...
Just continue...
Just continue.
For now, greater purposes lie within the boundaries of creation and how it works.
We manifest simply step by step.
You do not want a fortress without strong foundations. You do not want a pillar that can break. So, what should you do to create a strong foundation?
Do move forward.
Do not create without intention.
Do move at your own pace.
Do not rush.
We will move forward with you. We will match your reality to your mental circumstance, as per usual. So, do create with intention.”
- End of channeled message
ENERGETIC FORTITUDE AND CREATING WITH INTENTION
When I was a kid, I remember my dad mentioning, “learning how to learn is important”. When I was 10 this was entirely confusing. I thought, “What the heck? I’m told something and then I know it. There’s nothing else.”
Life taught me that he was right. It takes time to understand what you're hearing, going through, experiencing, etc. Because we’re all different, we have to understand things in our own way. Repeating what someone else says doesn’t mean that you understand. It means that you know how to memorize. A valuable skill, yes… but certainly not what helps you be a better version of yourself. At the root of all this we’re trying to create a life with what we understand and enjoy. But, there are rules with creation to ensure that we do it right.
Regarding personal and spiritual growth this appears to be an integral concept.
So this is my story about creating a life that I understand and enjoy, particularly with “energetic fortitude”. Please note that it is more heavy than what I’ll be posting in the future as I’ll go over what it took for me to learn how to live happy.
It wasn’t easy.
Put simply, big lessons need big understanding… hard lessons require courage and endurance. This story describes my learning experience via: anxiety, a crumbling relationship, feeling alone, feeling stuck, and feeling absolutely hopeless. Some people refer to this as the “dark night of the soul”. I refer to it as a story about how I became my favorite version of myself thus far. A lot of people understand exactly what I’m talking about. You either are that person or know someone who's been there.
Anything is possible... This is why I’m sharing.
“Go forth increasing your chakral fortitude, your energetic fortitude, your energetic way and being of life... just continue”
If this interests you please continue reading and apply your own story as it resonates…
MY STORY
In 2019 I was in the worst state of my life… I was having anxiety attacks every day. My social life and friendships were totally on the backburner. I was in a relationship with “the one” but this was dramatically crumbling. I could barely work three days a week… all because of crippling and “unexplainable” anxiety.
When I say anxiety I'm not talking about a touch of fear. I mean this...
A minimum of 4 times a week, up 7 though, but sometimes multiple times a day...
At any given moment, a terrible feeling would creep in. My muscles became tense. An irrational sense of doom set in. With or without any reason at all I’d know that an anxiety attack was coming. Soon, my muscles would tense more. Next was a head rush, dizziness, shaking, sweating….My heart would beat faster and heavier until it seemed it would crash through my chest... Somehow I would feel real pain without an injury… Hyperventilation made breathing feel like choking… Panic and irrational fear was my only awareness. Getting into the shower to leave the house would land me on my knees almost every time, hyperventilating again.
Being anywhere but at home was terrifying. It was possible that if I left there would be no way for me to stop the neurologically chemical and/or situational dilemma of being paralyzed in a bathroom stall, in the staff room at work, or with my friends or family unable to do anything but go through the motions of this.
It didn't make sense. I could be doing something as non-threatening as the dishes and this would set in with absolutely no identifiable reason... 10, 20, 30 minutes (or more) would go by and my only awareness would be that I was exhausted, on the floor or in bed, unable to move.
None of this is exaggerated. In fact, it feels understated but I’ll leave it at that.
If this resonates, know that there are things that can help. Understanding "Window of Tolerance" + hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal helped me know where to start. These concepts describe an ideal state vs. fight, flight and/or freeze and offer tools to help. Stress response exists on a spectrum and it applies to everyone at different degrees based on relative criteria. Commonly, the window of tolerance is used to help individuals understand stress response, PTSD, and more, but everyone can relate.
“For now, greater purposes lie within the boundaries of creation and how it works. We manifest simply step by step.”
It turns out that wounds from my past were attempting to surface. Denial and inadequate coping strategies had been my strong suit up until this point so I was doing my best to push it all back down. I never identified one single or multiple traumatic events, yet I was unable to do almost anything at all, nevermind live my dreams. I wanted no attention for it.. I wanted to just be alone…an odd but frequent side effect from both the anxiety and accompanying depression.
To sum it up quickly… In childhood, I had a mixed bag of lessons and I wound up knowing that I was independent yet believing that I had no control of my circumstance. This creeping perception slowly became an embedded belief system - that being:
“the only way to feel a sense of autonomy is to fake it”
With a number of “validating" experiences this belief followed me into adulthood, and particularly into 2019. I tried many things to get the anxiety to stop. Podcasts, vitamin supplements, calming baths, therapy...lashing out. Some things worked but I still had the attacks...
I was still sad.
I was still alone in this.
Good thing everyone has a breaking point!
(Is this bad humor?)
One day, I felt the anxiety creeping… fear was knocking… my heart rate increased…nervousness, tears and panic ensued... I knew that a hyper-state was on its way.
Something similar but essentially different stole the spotlight for a moment.
Automatically, and without warning, my response was:
“F@*K YOU! GET LOST! I’M DONE WITH ANXIETY. GET THE F#$K OUT OF MY LIFE. YOU’RE NOT WELCOME HERE. I AM IN CONTROL HERE, NOT YOU ”.
…
Doesn’t seem like such a spiritual awakening, does it...
No joke though, this was the best group of thoughts that ever crossed my mind.
I remember this so clearly… because I had my moment with the anxiety attack then actually calmed down and thought…. “Um… what was that?”
I think I even went on with my day right after…
If I’d ever been angry about my anxiety before it was never like this.
It turns out that anger and depression are both negative emotions, but while depression often lands you feeling hopeless and in bed, anger is an action emotion and comes with a sense of control. Contrary to plain anger, this was an aggressive and emotional reclaiming of control which I hadn’t felt for as long as I could remember.
- Unanticipated, but immediately effective.
I had been trying to live a life less than satisfactory because it was one that I understood how to live. Anxiety was the creeping awareness that I had been avoiding what I was scared to confront... emotional abuse, conditioned thought patterns, chronic medical issues, and negative behavior as a result. I accepted a life that I thought must be better than trying something else and failing...
aka. learning the hard lessons.
I maintained a job and a relationship (among other things) that were clearly not right anymore in order to know that at least I understood what I was involved with.
“You do not want a fortress without strong foundations. You do not want a pillar that can break. So, what should you do to create a strong foundation?”
Essentially, once I took control. The dilapidated “fortress” I had built with a lack mindset and fake confidence came crashing down.. That fortress (the old one) did NOT have a strong foundation - so it was easy. More action was certainly needed. The anxiety attacks did keep happening, but they came differently. They went from nonsensical to situational. This was the beginning of me creating with intention. At the heart of it, I had made a choice… and I kept on doing so. I began regaining an opinion, a drive, specific wants, and desires. Essentially, I reconnected with myself and chose to create my reality.
“Do move forward. Do not create without intention. Do move at your own pace. Do not rush”
Things got better.
But hold up.
March 14, 2020: My partner, who I loved very much, ended things. It wasn’t mutual.
March 17, 2020: My workplace had to close due to the pandemic.
March 23, 2020: It was declared that my city was in a state of emergency.
You’d think that, for someone who was having at least 4 literally crippling anxiety attacks a week, these circumstances would cause a serious downward spiral.
But that didn't happen.
...I felt calm.
I was freaking out - in a good way - about how calm I was!
I am NOT downplaying the alarm and disarray that the pandemic struck.
What I’m saying is that those two things that I was trying desperately to maintain were ripped from me and I was NOT asking for that.
... Was I?
When I was lost in anxiety, I was asking for (pleading for) an end to the panic...to feel good in my skin… to be in the right place… to be confident and happy with who I was and who I was growing into.
Guys, I got what I asked for. In fact, I got MORE than what I asked for.
My last anxiety attack was March 14, 2020.
… The day that the “love of my life” had ended things
… Two days before I lost my job to the pandemic
… Nine days before my city was in a state of emergency
… Amidst a global pandemic that is still ongoing, almost 2 years later
The takeaway here is: I had already decided that I was going to be happy, and I committed to it.
After that, these other details forced me to figure out what to do... to push me in a direction. This is a very dramatic example of something that happens to us every day.
We are forced to go through tests so that we can get to the next level... Sometimes, walls are torn down against our will to have us see what we didn’t see before… Sometimes we think we know what is right so we put ourselves there by fighting upstream, and in turn refusing to grow… Then we’re shown what is perfect through a sequence of events that makes you see.
Go with the flow, even when the flow isn’t calm… Because, when it comes to the universe the flow takes us where we need to be…
I know that I was having anxiety attacks because I was trying my absolute hardest to hold on to what was comfortable and avoid doing the work. In my experience, it is always harder to not do the work, it is always harder to keep yourself from making positive change, and it is always easier to make positive change. It begins with your choice to do so.
Nothing feels more true to me than this channeled statement:
“We will match your reality to your mental circumstance, as per usual. So, do create with intention.”
Sometimes it takes courage to see the point... to make the move... to do the thing...
Just know what you're aiming for and continue.
Just continue...
This is your journey no matter what. Whatever you’re going through, big or small, make the choice to be bigger than your opposition. Then make the moves to overcome it and create room for a way better outcome! Take little steps to get there. You'll get there.
Thanks so much for taking a second to read this.
When I was anxious, hearing other people's stories and success helped me tremendously. Hopefully this can add to the things that are helping you with whatever situation you're facing. As always, take it as it resonates.
Wishing you all the best!
With so much love,
Jamie
Channeled messages come from a group of higher dimensional beings who love to bring messages to the collective and individuals.
All messages come forward to provide guidance, awareness, and clarity through Love and Light while serving a higher good.
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